Valentine's Day craziness: The Prostitute at VI

So, I love irony, a lot. It tackles my fancy so I was foaming at the mouth when this happened. I'm not sure if anything other than divine intervention (and a call to a local pimp) could have set this up. As I stated in a previous post, I am currently reading Grotesque by Nastuo Kirino-a mystery novel about a girl whose sister is murdered and perhaps how she tracks down the murderer? (I'm only about 200 pages in so I'm not quite sure on that yet...)But anyways, the sister who was murdered was a prostitute and earlier today I had read this long section of the book about the girl and how beautiful she thought she was (she's not a vain or narcissistic character at all as I'm sure you can tell!) and how being a bigger person you couldn't be a prostitute. Well, I had an experience on my V-tines day that might just prove her wrong.

The day started off sluggish-minus the cool trail-so I wasn't expecting much. Went to a play with my best friend (Ibsen's A Doll's House which I think all women-and especially Rihanna right now-should see because if a mother living in the 19th century can walk out on her manipulative, jerk-off of a husband, there's no reason for you to stick with that abusive, judgmental, WoW playing, mooching lump sitting on the end of your couch, eating all your mac-n-cheese ya know what I mean?) and a quick trip to this trend 50's-ish diner called The Brook in the hipster side of town. When my friends and I decided to take a trip to VI-AKA Village Inn which is kinda like Denny's except for in existence.

Now, we've taken our fair share of late night-til-morning trips to VI. Not a weird, or ironic-thing but this time we were shortly joined by who had to be a prostitute. And let me tell you she was NO Julia Roberts.

At least I never saw Vivian pushing 250 in a skin tight dress with diamonds holes cut out in the stomach and absolutely NO VLP or VBL (yes, the girls were NOT contained, which I felt was illegal enough as it is, no offense to the non-bra wearing people in the world. My older sister is one of you. I just feel that there are some people who can get away with letting the girls go free and some of us who cause traffic accidents when they do...)

And then her pimps showed up in all their Sean Jean, spree wheels, and Jose Quervo glory! My friends and I-ever the sleuth's-watched the deal go down. And there was actual face suckage! It was like the skankiest episode of the Discovery Channel ever!

But alas, the deal transpired and presumably one of the guys went home with a happier ending than finishing his Moon Over My Hammy-you know if it was Denny's, which it wasn't because Denny's isn't in existence anymore, at least not here in Tulsa, Oklahoma. But it just made me think of Grotesque. I'm not sure how things are in Japan (In Korea, you look for the prostitutes in the places with the spinning barber poles) but maybe I can let you know in a few years if ladies of the night there don't get any business if they're over weight.

Considering the new law put in place where Japanese employees get fined for having a waist that's more than 35 inches, I suppose that's not surprising. But as with most things, in America we're more forgiving because this lady didn't look like she'd missed any meals from lack of nourishment.

I'm off to buy bedspreads with my mom now! Not to be used in a prostitution ring unless this whole writing thing falls through,
Much love,

P.S. Maybe I'll looked at silk sheets just in case...


  1. The Discovery Channel IS really skanky.

    Sometimes they show animal porn, and it just makes me feel uncomfortable.

  2. oh my gosh this is a crazy story! the people you run into at Village Inn... nothing says valentine's day than an overweight bra-less prostitute!